It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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