Yo dont text me then not text me
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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