took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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