On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
sex in a hospital.. check
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Randomize
