Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
