Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
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