i just wanna soil my oats bro
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Randomize
