soooo we both peed the bed last night...
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
