so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Is it penis luge time yet?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
