You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
