First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
