Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Randomize