His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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