She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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