his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
