Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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