So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
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