I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Randomize
