Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
