This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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