There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
