THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Randomize
