Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
