I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
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