Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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