Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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