I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
