so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
