Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
