I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
