there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
