Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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