i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
