and she was petting her beer can
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
