i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
All the doctor said was why
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
