my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
