why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Sober January is a disaster.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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