How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
