I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
