Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
