He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
