Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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