I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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