yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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