put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
