3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Randomize
