Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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