yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
