According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
