How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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