Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I intend to get homeless drunk
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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