He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
