Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
She has the best kind of daddy issues
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
